watching the decline and fall of a house of cards

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Welcome to the houses of cards

Just heard a very funny story about the ever hapless chappy. It seems that he has left his brother in charge of the hotel project; and he’s even dumber than the chapster. Seems that Chap 2 has put together a plan to decorate the bar area of the restaurant in copper at a time when copper prices are at near record levels.

What was the feunix old tag line? Wasn’t it: “where high finance turns on it’s heels and runs”? So, which one of the chapsters ventures is going to fold first: the shakey shack or feunix? Word on the street is that feunix are down to 22 billing consultants.


  • At 3:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am sure that there will be many people's watching with intent to see how this story ends. What goes around comes around, and it looks like its coming at full speed. Perhaps Chappies haircut will protect him from much of the impact. Perhaps turing the hotel into a steambath, would allow him to kill two birds with one stone, i.e. a place to pick up his dates, and to find new talent for feunix. Best of luck to you.

  • At 6:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Everyone's talking about the Mexicans, but what about those dodgy Brits from Blackpool? A search of the NYS Department of State, Division of Corporations online database reveals a certain HOSPITALITY CONSULTING NEW YORK, LLC. Chappy's brother James has his H1B visa through this entity. Prior to joining HOSPITALITY CONSULTING, James was an illegal alien in the US for many years. He ran the New York Fashion Cafe at a loss (in fairness all the Fashion Cafes ran at a loss) and then worked for Cipriani's -- all while be a wetback. A recent conversation with certain parties in Duchess County New York indicate that James may still be illegal, since Chappy is not paying him according to Labor Department standards required under H1B.


    Selected Entity Status Information Current Entity Name: HOSPITALITY CONSULTING NEW YORK, LLC
    Initial DOS Filing Date: SEPTEMBER 24, 2003
    County: DUTCHESS
    Jurisdiction: NEW YORK
    Current Entity Status: ACTIVE
    Selected Entity Address Information DOS Process (Address to which DOS will mail process if accepted on behalf of the entity)
    89 FIFTH AVE STE 500
    NEW YORK, NEW YORK, 10003
    Registered Agent

  • At 6:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    As to the hotel itself, here is the info from the Rhinebeck Chamber of Commerce:

    The Rhinecliff
    James Chapman
    4 Grinnell Street
    P.O. Box 292
    Rhinecliff NY 12574
    Phone: 845-876-0590
    Fax: 845-876-0690
    Web: www.therhinecliff.com
    Email: info@therhinecliff.com

    According to the blurb: "Opening in Spring 2006! The Rhinecliff Hotel is being restored to its nineteenth century grandeur..."

    Friends, that plastic covered monstrosity has been sitting there since time immemorial, rotting. If you want to kill some time, drive up to Rhinebeck from NYC and eat at the China Rose directly across from the hotel. The locals at the bar there have a lottery running on how soon the thing will be up for sale or filled with worms. It's quite a sight. The plywood is starting to delaminate, and you can see it from the Chinese joint will you knock back a few Tsingtao beers and speculate on just how fucking stupid Chappy is.

  • At 8:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Anyway, back to the hotel and Chappy's wetback brother. Appears Chappy delegates everything to his bro since he is to busy in the city hiding from angry clients. And yes, bro James, who hasn't invested anything, has committed them to a nebulous plan of copper roofing, all copper fixtures, granite curbing -- only the best will do when you're spending someone else's money. Oddly enough, Jimmy also planned a huge outdoor bog, so patrons will be able to smell their own shite wihile dining.

    Chappy has already invested $1.5-1.8 million in hotel

    Rat-a-tat-tat dumped his $250,000 inheritance into the sinkhole. Of course he's been training for years to replace Chappy afterf the inevitable nervous breakdown.

    Chappy and rat-a-tat-tat have
    sub-prime $2 million supervised loan, not usable without bank's permission, but interest payable immediately
    8.5% APR, variable rate, keyed on prime, reset monthly
    bank will grant permission to use the loan only when an approved plan exists, but none does
    servicing this loan requires $14,000-15,000 per month
    $20,000 annual taxes
    $35,000 lease for parking from railroad, cancellable at railroad's sole disgression. if RR cancel's then certificate of occupancy is voided

    Chappy also has another $300,000 variable rate loan

    Hey Chappy, better start paying your brother according to H1B standards before Homeland Security sends him back to Londontown. Way on down south in Londontown.

  • At 9:55 AM, Anonymous THE RHINECLIFF HOTEL, LLC said…



    Selected Entity Name: THE RHINECLIFF HOTEL, LLC

    Selected Entity Status Information Current Entity Name: THE RHINECLIFF HOTEL, LLC
    Initial DOS Filing Date: SEPTEMBER 24, 2003
    County: DUTCHESS
    Jurisdiction: NEW YORK
    Current Entity Status: ACTIVE

    Selected Entity Address Information DOS Process (Address to which DOS will mail process if accepted on behalf of the entity)
    Registered Agent

  • At 11:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    To be sung to the tune of "Now He's A Poof" by The Macc Lads:

    There was a slimy cunt, he came from Finetix.
    He used to go out swindling clients.
    Now we know it were just a farce,
    'Cos he's got lies dribbling out of his arse.

    He's got debts from buying a daft hotel.
    And he can just walk straight to hell.
    He's gone all broke, he's making us sick.
    We wouldn't give him cheese off us dicks.

    Now he's a cunt! We can't handle it.
    Now he's a cunt! He does curry shits.
    Now he's a cunt! He fucks up projects wherever he sits.

    He's gone to pot, got a toupee on his head,
    He's got some twat Katz sleeping in his bed.
    Fake CVs - he's got the set!
    The evidence is written all over the net.

    Now he's a cunt! He's got no idea.
    Now he's a cunt! He's a fucking queer.
    Now he's a cunt! He can't hold his fucking beer.

    He's always in the pub - he keeps clients waiting,
    He can only get a girlfriend by going speed-dating.
    We'll have to pin him down on the deck
    And poor some strychnine down his fucking neck.

    Cunt! He's a code bandit!
    Cunt! His programming is shit!
    Cunt! He's a total git!

    Cunt! He's a fucking slob!
    Cunt! He's got an ingrown knob!
    Cunt! He's got curry all over his gob!

    Cunt! He's a fucking turd!
    Cunt! He hasn't got a bird!
    Cunt! The feds want a word!
    Cunt! Twat! Wanker! Arsehole! Knob Head! Fuck Wit! ...

  • At 10:14 AM, Blogger CRJ said…

    Classic, great post.

  • At 10:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    PS: Chappy has long been known as "The Chelsea Dribbler", as things have been dribbling out of his ass for years. His shit stained knickers - the result of years spent abusing butt plugs - are legendary.

  • At 8:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Chappy was also know as "corncob" during the Chemical/Chase/JPMC years. I believe his walk and his attitude gave him the name.

  • At 10:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sounds like the corncobs have been going the same way as the butt plugs, a butt plug sounds like a good idea at the moment, given the amount crap thats coming out.

  • At 9:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Looks like chappy chapster failed to tell every finetix consultant at Morgan Stanley not to blog - http://chrisdonnan.com/blog/2006/07/20/super-base-class-i-love-inheritance/. Don't you just love it when finetix consultants complain about clients

  • At 3:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yeh, somehow this got past the MS thought cops and the fascist F Co. Its got a genius pic on it.

    Super Base Class - I love inheritance2
    chrisdrop posted in programming on July 20th, 2006

    extreme_rant <<

    Kill me please.

    I am a Super Base Class. I am 6000 lines long. I have 150 ‘functions’ (I will not grace them by calling them methods). I also have 200 fields! I am sorta-kinda just like an old C program. The cool thing about it me - is that if you just inherit from me - you get all of my functions. Wow - isn’t inheritance awesome!

    Kill me please.

    Since the only way to use me - is to derive from me (I am cool and abstract) - I have proliferated greatly. I have more than 30 bastard children. Each needs maybe 1 method -er; function - but - they are all my kids anyhow. Some are doctors, some are lawyers, some are janitors. They each need some small part of me - as I am SUPER! I AM ALL!

    Kill me - really.

    I am very protective over my fields - they are all ‘protected’ - every field. After all - I want to share with my children! I am very open with my functions, but open to change too - all my methods are public AND virtual :) Great!! I am just SOOOO flexible - it is great …. isn’t it?


    We ALL know the purpose of inheritance. It is so you can push ALL of the functions (functions are cool!) in your program down to the super base class - then - you just derive from it!! YES!! THAT IS IT!!

    Since I have so many protected fields and so much code, so many fields, and I do SO many things. I like to have LOTS of side effects. This is a *really cool feature* I have. Since you can derive from me (as so many do) - you can also override my public members (remember they ARE virtual), there are just UNLIMITED possible states I can be in!!! I am the culmination of all possible side effects - and I am just - well - spontaneous. I do not really much like constraints, or guarantees. This is WAY too legalistic for a Super Base Class like me.

    OOH OOH - here is another awesome feature…

    Just to make it easier for my functions. I declare ALL of my variables at class level. Who needs to limit scope? Why bother. We are all friends here. I even leave around old friends. The functions we used to use. The variables we used to use. Since my variables are …around… I also think it is cool that I can sometimes use the same variables (fields - remember all class level fields) to do MANY MANY things. Why waste our friends - give them work since they are around.

    One of my FAAAAVORITE things to do - is to reference ALL of my other quasi-super friends - via static references. We are all SOOO special - that we are ALL singletons. The net effect here is again reminiscent of a good-ole C program. We can use Object Oriented ’stuff’ AND STILL be procedural!!! Man are we awesome! GO GO GO GLOBALS - STATEFUL GLOBALS ROCK!!!


    -Chris (kill me)
    PS - I am a windows form control - I provide ANY AND ALL SERVICES you may need! If you are elsewhere in the app - maybe not anywhere you ‘need’ a windows form control - STILL inherit from me!!!! I RULE — MMOOOHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ALL BOW BEFORE ME ….. SUPER BASE CLASS !!!!!

  • At 10:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    avery and string are really boring now - actually string was always shite - but avery had some good stuff on oil

  • At 12:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Looks like Lab49 is now up to 12 employees in the UK, and winning more clients and expanding. Feunix closed down the London office last April. Chappy lied to all of the employees that they were losing money in London. How can you lose money in London when every IB has roughly the equivalent needs in London as in New York! The reality was that the entire London office got fed up with all of the constant BS that Katz, Chappy, and Sully inflicted on them. Nolan had the most acute gaydar, and quit first. Then the HR staff, and the employees. The whole office moved to 49, and now have the same clients that Feunix had. Word is that Barcap won't touch Feunix, but is begging 49 to fill their open positions.

    At the present time, 49's London office has almost as many billing consultants in London as Feunix has in New York. This means that Klutz is going to have to cut back on Da Head. After her stunt with 49, she now gets over $1000 per day to do what they do behind closed doors at Feunix.

    Maybe Klutz should start going to the steam baths. He can multitask. He can get Da Head, hire more developers, and lose the spare tire.

    Yo Klutz! You gotta get Chappy to stop doing this shite to the employees. Woof Woof!

  • At 10:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Chappy was a Welshman
    Chappy was a cheat
    Chappy came to my house
    and pissed upon the seat.

    I went to Chappy's house
    Chappy was in bed
    I climbed through his window
    and kicked him in the head.

  • At 3:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Looks like Klutz has some competition


  • At 4:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

  • At 9:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Great quote: "Something this large and this dense would have been rare..."

  • At 9:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Not quite as funny, but here we have the chapster displaying his latest hair "style":



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