Outed

He's back

2007-02-07T12:11:00.000Z

The Grandmaster Agile Jedi Guru has returned to the blogsphere - I bow before him, all hail Crispin!

Feinetux: a personal retrospective on a fucked company

2006-12-28T13:11:00.000Z

Huge has again delivered the goods for us. In the long posting that follows I reproduce an e-mail exchange that he's had with a recently departed employee of the house of cards. It read like a retrospective on a truly fucked company, enjoy...

Hmm, where do I start

Working with Mike and Jeff, was a refreshing change from previous employers that I had, they had vision, and would take risks on the buisness side, that allowed the company to grow, and they rewarded hard work.

Enter Steve Katz, a devious, greedy, back stabbing dick, as soon as he started with Finetix, the politics within the company became a mine field, who knew nothing about running a compnay, he is a lawyer/CPA, and not a good one at that, the rumour is that he would never had made partner in his previous employment, he is a slob, rude, sleeps in meetings, and just overall a low class ass, that got lucky when he married a top class lawyer, that has no right to be running a company like finetix, he makes more enimies than friends, believes the whole world should revolve around him and no one else. I have heard that on many occasions he has physically threatened his partners in meetings when they have disagreed with him, he has thrown things at people, over turned desks, tried to use his physical size to intimidate people, this is all when he does not get his way, and when any one challenges his view. My understanding is that there where many projects that the company failed to get because of the fact that the prospective clients did not want anything to do with SK, now that's the sign of a good busness guy.

What to say about DC, he does not stand up to SK, the hotel is a serious distraction, which means that he does not really care about the F company, he needs as much money as he can get to get the hotel going, and really does not care how he gets it, even if it means screwing people over around him. He is supposed to tbe the head of Biz Development, thats a fucking joke, he has no clue and needed to bring someone else in to do that job. Never developed a business plan, and tried to run London on hear say and just dumb luck, he gets little to no respect from those that know him, he also does not like to be challenged, because that exposes his lack of thought behind much of what he does, as a partner of a company.

Hmm DLG, not much to say about this guy, other than he seemed to be always at client site, and that SK and DC where always very eager to keep him away from the office, I read into that, the fact that neither wanted him around to question what was going on, but then again who knows, he did not seem a very visible partner.

When I was there, none of partners seems to have any respect or trust for each other, no sence of togetherness, no sence of direction and no sence of company spirit

One question that really needs to be asked in an open forum is;

Do the employees have any confidence in where SK and DC are taking the firm, and what's in it for the employees? what have they promised over the years, and have they ever come thru on a consistant basis for the employees? Where's the ongoing training for the employee's?

As without the employee's they have no company, because bottom line is that neither DC or SK are worth the salaries they are paying themselves (700k +), and do not have the ability to earn even a fraction of that in the open market.

My views from the many years that I worked there. I have been lied to by both DC and SK I know this for a fact and SK has misrepresented me on more than one occasion with other members of staff. He loves to have one on one meetings with people, with no DC or DLG involved, so that he can manipulate people into his view of the world, I think his ultimate goal was to take the company from DC and DLG, he already achieved that with Jeff and Mike. DLG left to the shock of both SK and DC, but to be honest I think that just heloped out SK to beat up on DC and ultimatly get DC out of the picture so that he could have the company to himself.

Enjoy, and do your thing.

No further comment required from me. Your comments/opinions are. as always, appreciated.

Merry christmas

2006-12-25T12:12:00.000Z

Seasons greetings to you all. My man "huge" promises some very jucy insider news, so we should all have something to look forward too....

Our cast of would be players

2006-10-09T11:09:00.000+01:00

As the feunix game runs down, it's worth profiling the remaining (wanna be) players in our farce. As always, additional comments are always welcomed...

Klutz – our homer simpson lookalike and doughnut hoovering CEO/CFO has certainly drunk deep of the MBA kool aid. Klutz has been on a power trip since taking the helm of the house of cards and his “strategy” has driven the once viable business to the wall – thinks he’s a doer but in reality is just another source of hot air. Klutz will screw anyone to make a buck – do not bend over in front of this guy, ask any ex. partner or partner company – maybe this is to make up for him being the junior “partner” at home?

Chappy – where do you start with this wig wearing hapless cock gobbler – Chapman joined feunix as the dog turd on the shoe of a JP deal and has worked his hapless uncle act to screw over many a young (lady) boy that might get in his way. Engaged by day in a battle with Klutz over who gets out alive in the death march, Chappy also has the $3M loan on the shakey shack hanging over his head. With a double-ender of business disasters looming, Chappy and his illegal alian brother have a very worrying few months in front of them. Maybe the hapless chapster brothers should return to their blackpool (England) roots and try selling “Kiss-me quick” hats in Coney Island.

"Da Head" – former heroin addict and dock worker Donna is the feunix attack dog. A “meeting” with Donna is almost certain to result in getting the chop (it did for me). Not sure where the moniker “Da Head” came from, (anyone who’s met her will attest what a gruesome thought that would be), but a girls gotta do something to justify her $250k base.

New York based Hedge Fund, Cadence Capital: a very strange alliance even by feunix standards. It seems that the “Hedge fund” is little more than a shell trading operation set up by Dmitry Babayev and his girlfriend Paige Durivage, quite what Cadence will get out of the alliance with the house of cards is unclear; clearly klutz and co. will do anything to claim that they are another client in the ever expanding hedge fund practice, but what is the truth behind this partenership?

To date, our friend “Huge”, hasn’t been able to get much background on Dmitry (had to leave citco in a hurry – any link to feunix?) or Paige (rumoured to be a former Hooters girl). Maybe you have some more details you would care to share?

Chap watch

2006-08-07T12:27:00.000+01:00

With the house of cards looking ever more shakey by the day, word is that Klutz is planning on winding up feunix by year end. When that happens, what will become of Chappy; as he has the loan on the haunted house to repay. Maybe he'll follow his brothers previous example and try skipping town. This would be such a shame, so maybe it would be good if we could all look out for the chapster.

Posting of recent chappy sightings would be most welcome. Extra comments on the state of his toupee would be most amusing too.

The Anal Bonus?

2006-07-31T10:36:00.000+01:00

It seems that one of the most common complaints from the fienux guys is getting “da head” in the run up to the annual bonus. Is this a common occurrence or just a small vocal group? Let us know: is it the annual bogus? Did you get head (from someone other than Chappy)? Or, did they, for the most part, stick to their word?

Welcome to the houses of cards

2006-07-19T15:07:00.000+01:00

Just heard a very funny story about the ever hapless chappy. It seems that he has left his brother in charge of the hotel project; and he’s even dumber than the chapster. Seems that Chap 2 has put together a plan to decorate the bar area of the restaurant in copper at a time when copper prices are at near record levels.

What was the feunix old tag line? Wasn’t it: “where high finance turns on it’s heels and runs”? So, which one of the chapsters ventures is going to fold first: the shakey shack or feunix? Word on the street is that feunix are down to 22 billing consultants.

More news from Huge...

2006-06-22T20:46:00.000+01:00

Our friendly "Deep Throat" at Feunix says:

"Crisp, good to have u back man, you love this piece for da web. Just heard that all the guys are being dropped at Morgan Stanley, seems one of dem has pissed Al Ginberb off big style. Chapster has been keeping this from da kat as well. Da kat is going to ream him a new asshole when he finds out."

Any opinion half-agile?

The Incredible Vanishing Men

2006-06-09T11:46:00.000+01:00

It seems that those feunuch boys are dropping out of the blogging community. Klutz who has never been a fan of blogging, he just viewed it as free marketing, has killed his blog and has ordered chappy to do the same. So, goodbye “Agile Executive” and “Chapman”, your incisive comments will certainly be missed…

How long do you think it will be before Half Agile Daddy Marc is told to pull his blog too? This will be an interesting one to watch: on the one hand Marc is the only guy in the company that seems to have any balls but on the other he seems to kiss Klutz’s ass…

Getting the party started...

2006-06-06T15:33:00.000+01:00

Have a favorite CRJ post? Add the cache URL as a comment and I'll add it back as a blog item.

Hiya

2006-06-06T14:01:00.000+01:00

Following the Sad demise of CRJs blog it seemed only fitting to start a tribute blog, so that his work can be preserved and that a home will remain for those who dare expose Agile shills everywhere. All comments welcome. As Crispin might have said: "We're relying on you Huge..."